Thursday, October 3, 2013

Mr. Speaker: Here is Rewritten Script for Your Approval

Rep. John Andrew Boehner (R-Ohio)

Open script/fill-in-the-blank time:

“The president, won't talk to me. He won’t even try to negotiate with me...”

“My Democrat friends on the other side won't accept my offer or agreement or try to compromise with me...”

“My own Republican House caucus won't listen to me...”

“My own wife and kids think I work too late and never come home for dinner on time...”

“My dog barks at me when I come home late, and that wakes the entire neighborhood...”

“My favorite bartender won't serve me more than 6 drinks after
midnight ...”

“I don’t even know where I slept last night. I think it was in Ted Cruz's truck...”

“And, you stand there with that microphone in my face with the unmitigated gall to ask me why I am bawling like this. Shedding tears for the American people like this about trying to solve this critical issue for them – the public I love and serve every single day of my life.

“Shame on you and shame on for those watching and editing this script.”

“You got a Kleenex or hanky?”

Feel free to add you own to the list. Boy, and to think that this could go on days or, even weeks, or longer.

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